OK, I am stressing out because it's Saturday on a Bank holiday and 70% of me is thinking I should be relaxing. The other 30% is freaking out that I should be working. I have that feeling like I am meant to be somewhere but I can't remember where. Do you know what I mean? I actually don't need to be anywhere, but that's the only thing I can liken this feeling to. I don’t belong in the moment that's happening and it's doing my head in.
At times like this I spend some time brainstorming about what I could be doing until something falls into place. It's kind of like when I can't find the music I want to listen to. I'm very particular about music; I love all music but I am very weird about it having to be the right music for the right moment and I can spend a good 15 minutes (obviously whilst doing other stuff, I'm not made of time) trying to figure out what it is I want to listen to because I cant put my finger on it. But when I get it right, oh my god the feeling is just fantastic. Everything melts away and I feel like I was always meant to be in the moment I'm in right now. For example, right now in the background I'm listening to Nevermind by Dennis Lloyd. And I feel like I'm in a movie. I can't get enough of this feeling. When you feel in flow and everything around you feels in flow.
I suppose where I'm going with this, is – when I started writing this I was stressed. My stomach was tight, the left side of my neck was tight, the right side of my back under my shoulder blade hurt, my stomach was tight and my head was foggy. Now I have started writing this and I'm listening to music that resonates with me for the moment and all of a sudden, before I know it, my stress has gone and I'm back in flow.
Don’t settle for stress. I could have sat there this afternoon and forced myself to try and relax, do what I 'should' be doing on a sunny Saturday afternoon, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed it and I would have probably been a bit of a dick to my poor unsuspecting husband. Instead I listened to my body, I tried a few things – reading, brainstorming, sitting looking at the sky, and finally I landed on this. Music, writing and prosecco.
Don’t force yourself to de-stress. It won't work. I've tried it so many times, and to be honest, for me it usually ends either in a panic attack (which actually can be a huge relief) or feeling like I've wasted time. Wasting time for me is one of my triggers. I have such a huge passion for enjoying life and being productive that I can't stand wasting time and trying to force myself to relax when I'm stressed is a waste of time!! I personally can't just concentrate on being relaxed; I need to figure out what I am meant to be doing in that moment.
This is why getting to know yourself is so important when it comes to stress management; you can call yourself out and change it. You have your toolkit to fall back on when you recognise what's going on.
Anyway, George Ezra has just come on so I must go and change it. One last thought to end this babbling blog; experiment with what you need in each moment. Don’t settle. Experience and own your day as it feels right to you, don’t let it get away from you.
Have a wicked Bank Holiday